I went out to dinner with Wakana, to a Japanese restaurant. I didn't plan that, but it was there after searching for somewhere to look, and it seemed alright, so in we went. We were the only ones there, just the two of us. Everyone else in Wellington was at the rugby stadium or in front of their tv watching it - boring! So anyway, we had a Japanese BBQ dinner, which was really nice. Wakana liked it a lot.
We talked a lot, had a good time, and then I went to take her home. That's when the kissing started.
Traditionally, Valentine's Day (VD) has had no meaning for me. I seem to have been alone for most of them. Let's look back on the past 5 years, the length of time that this journal has been in existence:
1998 Went out on a first date with an asian lady called Helen
1999 VD was alone and uneventful.
2000 I'd split up with Darlene a month previous, so was alone for VD.
2001 I'd split up with Michelle, and was too busy trying to deal with her harrassment to worry about VD.
Things are looking positive with what's going on with Wakana. I was with her a couple nights ago, going for a drive and having dinner. Apparently, I'm just not like I used to be at all, which doesn't surprise me, 'cause I feel differently than I used to. When her and I were originally together, I was blase about the whole thing, but now I'm not. Being with her is just a lot more important to me now, so I'm not treating it casually, and I'm making the most of the time I spend with her.
You're probably thinking, 'the waiting is over? Woohoo! She's come back to him!'
But no, it's completely the opposite. After spendind more time with her today, this morning and then again this evening, I ended up giving her some kind of ultimatum, 'cause I can't keep doing it like this.
I explained to her that I couldn't keep on wanting to be with her, and then driving her home to be with another man. I told her that I loved her, and wanted to be with her forever, to look after her and be looked after by her, but I couldn't continue being her 'kissing friend'.
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