1) Wakana rang me in the morning and said she was leaving Wellington at the end of April, going to Christchurch with her boyfriend
2) we had lunch, and I expressed how much I was going to miss her, and that I just didn't understand how she could be in love with me and yet still go with this other guy who she didn't love. So she then explained to me something that she didn't want to tell me. Her reasons she has to go with him was because a) he helped her when she was feeling sad about me leaving her last year, so she feels obligated to be with him in return, and B) he told her that if she ever left him he'd just have to kill himself.
Yeh, I know… it's been 11 days since my last entry. In the old journal, it was usual to have only one entry a month, but this new journal is very different.
However, the reason I've been silent is because of the sadness and confusion I've been feeling about Wakana. I didn't know what to talk about. Some of my 'fans' Cheesy have had individual conversations with me, so you're up to date with what's going on. But for the rest of you, here goes…
My apologies for getting this to you later than I said I would. I didn't get home from the concert until after 1am this morning, and I was just too knackered to write about anything, so I just crashed and fell fast asleep. Today I was relaxing around Auckland - I took a few photos from the Sky Tower and other locations around the city. (I'll put them onto the photo page later. They include photos from yesterday and today.) Right now I'm at the airport waiting to catch a flight back to Wellington, so I'm taking the opportunity to write about the concert.
Wakana… You know, never before in my life have I ever had the opportunity to get back together with an ex, but now it seems I do. It hasn't happened yet, but things are looking good for us to get back together.
I've come to realise as time has gone by, and I've spent more time with her this past month, that I had to leave her last year for me to realise how much I actually wanted to be with her. I've also learnt that my expectations and ideas about love and what that means are overrated. Everything about being with her was great, but I wasn't ready for what she offered me. I didn't appreciate it, and thought I wasn't getting enough for my needs. It's only without it and being reminded of it by being with her recently that I've come to realise I want it again.
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