Over the past few weeks, Wakana has been increasingly online and chatting to me about stuff. She has been asking me lots of questions about things she has to do in her life, asking for advice, etc. (She's also created a flyer for me to put up to advertise myself as a Conversational English teacher.)
However, it's gotten more frequent over the past few days, with her coming online and asking me how to do this, how to do that, what should she do here and there and everywhere else.
Recent discussion about my relationship/dating preferences has inspired me to talk about my past experiences with women - western and asian - to relate what I've experienced and learned. I'm going briefly through all the women I've been involved with in 'long term' relationships (longer than a month). I've done this before (see here - http://www.thespirit-online.com/journal/archive/2000/jan00/31100.htm - but now I'm doing it again.
My involvement with Zhenzhen has come to a close. By the time I was ready to get into a relationship with her, she had already moved on. She had her misgivings about it after all the time of messing around, as I'd hurt her by keeping my distance. She had also met another man who, the first time they met, asked her to marry him. She said to him she'd think about it. Her 'thinking about it' was talking about it with me, and potentially playing one person off against the other. I wasn't interested in marrying her though, preferring to actually take the time to get to know someone rather than asking them to marry me the first time I met them.
I'm going on a road trip around the North Island of New Zealand next month! It's with Mel, and I'm really looking forward to it. We've been planning it over the past month or so, and I've finally completed all the preparations from my side, including accommodation bookings.
What an interesting couple of days it's been in here, in this journal. I announce a realisation of my personal preferences, and suddenly, I'm made to feel as if I have no right to have those preferences. I didn't want to continue having to justify my actions, because it's all about my choices which aren't hurting anyone else. However, it's turned out to mean a lot to some people (hello Angelface :-)), so I'll continue to do so for as long as it's required.
'm going through a transition right now, that I'm finding quite fascinating. I realised it a few days ago. The transition is that I'm joining a growing number of white guys who are more interested in asian women than white (western) women. They have their varied reasons but I can only talk about it from my point of view.
However, I'll relate some emails sent and received, and some website quotes in order to detail what my point of view is.
Thank you for joining me in the latest installment of the life of me. It's a pleasure to be with you again.
I've been quiet for a few weeks because I've been processing things that have been happening in my life; particularly the ongoing saga of Zhenzhen.
It's been ongoing because her and I have been swinging back and forth in some kind of twisted pendulum fashion. I move away from her, she follows. I react accordingly and move closer to her, so she moves away. It's been weird, but finally I've gotten tired of it. There's obviously been an attraction between us that's just been unable to be realised. Various things have kept us 'distant' from each other and prevented us from getting closer.
There are some people who claim to be clairvoyants. They might be, they might not be - that's not the issue. The issue is, how valuable is the future that they see for you?
People who go to see clairvoyants are usually people who are unsure of where they stand in life, and they are insecure about what they're doing and where their path is leading them. They see clairvoyants, fortune tellers, etc, in order to gain some reassurance about their lives, that what they're doing is right, or that there's hope for them in their near future.
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