I've been looking for a flatmate for 3 weeks now, or maybe longer. It's all such a blur…
Anyway, I had a couple of nice potentials look at it this morning, and I'm hoping that one of them will be interested enough to take it. I'll give them a call tomorrow and find out. One seemed more interested than the other, so I'll call her first.
I'm hoping that my search for a flatmate will be over this weekend, and that I can return to that state of 'normality' where I'm paying half the rent and all the bills are being shared, etc. Ooops…. another one's knocking on the door now.
I was speaking with a friend of mine (Deidre) during lunch today, and they asked me why I wasn't interested in having kids. I paused for a moment as I remembered my policy to be honest this year, to myself and to others. I paused a bit longer as I drew up from the depths of my soul why I didn't want to have kids.
"I'm afraid," I finally said. "I'm afraid of getting into a relationship and having kids and then deciding I never wanted them. I'm afraid of having kids and realising I can't love them. I'm afraid of kids living the same kind of childhood I had."
She laughed. "What is it with all men who are afraid of commitment?"
How often do we blame someone or something for making us feel a particular way? How often do we blame someone for 'making' us feel angry, annoyed, happy, sad, and so many other feelings? Are they MAKING us feel that way, or are we CHOOSING to feel that way? What's the difference?
The difference is that if you claim someone or something else makes you feel a certain way, then you can end up applying responsibility for your feelings onto someone else. We're happy to accept responsibility for our positive feelings, but we often try to blame others for our negative feelings.
"It's not my fault I got angry and did what I did… they MADE me do it!"
I used to be an INTP, but it seems I'm now an INFP. I've moved from being a thinker to a feeler.
(Introvert, Intuitive, Feeler, Perceiver)
People of this type tend to be: quiet, reserved, and kind; deeply passionate, sensitive, and easily hurt; loving and dedicated to those close to them; creative, original, and imaginative; curious and flexible in small matters; nonconforming.
The most important thing to INFPs is their deeply held beliefs and living in harmony with their values.
I wrote it in 1996, and added to it in 1998. I used to share it with only those that I felt would appreciate reading it; people who came into my life who were interested in me and wanted to know about me. I wrote it for them, so that I didn't need to tell the same story over and over.
Something goes wrong in your life, and you get angry, sad or frustrated. These are emotions based on what? An inability to do anything about it. The funny thing is, how you feel about something isn't going to change what that something was. It's not going to change what the results were.
How you feel about it isn't going to change it. Whatever it is.
My flatmate gave me 2 weeks notice yesterday. She's moving out. I'm really annoyed how she's gone about it.
Last week she bought a dog. She didn't ask me if I minded her buying a dog to keep here at home. She just bought it and said she's bringing a dog home.
Dogs aren't allowed according to the lease on this place. I couldn't find the lease though, but I told her that there are at least a couple of reasons why a dog can't be here. 1) I really don't like dogs. 2) Eve goes berserk and runs away or hides when there are dogs around. She hates 'em.
What I like is that over the past year she has learnt I'm boss. Most cat owners say that their cat is the boss. Not in my case. For the first 6 months of our time together, she was the most frustrating and intolerable thing I've ever had in my life. But we both survived the experience.
My patience has been rewarded. The past 6 months has been where she's been the most malleable, and has not only accepted the conditioning I've persisted with during her first 6 months here, but accepted further conditioning over the past 6 months. She's now a happy, healthy and contented cat who pretty much does what she's told, and doesn't demand anything. Let me give you some examples….
I've decided tonight to try again with my ex, Swee, who I was with for most of 2004. I've realised that I miss her more than I thought I would, and I've realised that I enjoyed the past month or two with her more than I thought I did.
I spoke to Dan, my dearest and bestest friend for the past 27 years, and he gave me all kinds of good advice. Take hold of what you can, you could be dead tomorrow. If it feels good, then do it. And the most significant thing he said was, 'You have to get wet to learn how to swim'. I immediately saw the significance of that with transferring it to a statement of my own…
Welcome to 2005. I hope you all have a great New Year, and an even better 2005.
Let me be the first to tell you that 2005 feels…. just like 2004! Wow. Surprising, hey? Well, I'm sure the changes will soon start becoming apparent. Like when we have to get used to writing 2005 as the date instead of 2004, etc etc. I did an experiment this xmas and new year. In years past, I have always made it a habit to send an email card or make a phone call to all those I considered my friends, to wish them well, let them know I was thinking of them, and so on. This year, I didn't. I contacted only those who were dearest to me, and made sure they knew it. Including my family, and I spoke to my brothers for the first time in 8+ years. Anyway, the experiment was interesting, because….
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