Archive for January 25th, 2005

Having kids

Add comment January 25th, 2005

I was speaking with a friend of mine (Deidre) during lunch today, and they asked me why I wasn't interested in having kids.  I paused for a moment as I remembered my policy to be honest this year, to myself and to others.  I paused a bit longer as I drew up from the depths of my soul why I didn't want to have kids.

"I'm afraid," I finally said.  "I'm afraid of getting into a relationship and having kids and then deciding I never wanted them.  I'm afraid of having kids and realising I can't love them.  I'm afraid of kids living the same kind of childhood I had."

She laughed.  "What is it with all men who are afraid of commitment?"


[ Click here to read more... ]

Self Responsibility

Add comment January 25th, 2005

How often do we blame someone or something for making us feel a particular way? How often do we blame someone for 'making' us feel angry, annoyed, happy, sad, and so many other feelings? Are they MAKING us feel that way, or are we CHOOSING to feel that way? What's the difference?

The difference is that if you claim someone or something else makes you feel a certain way, then you can end up applying responsibility for your feelings onto someone else. We're happy to accept responsibility for our positive feelings, but we often try to blame others for our negative feelings.

"It's not my fault I got angry and did what I did… they MADE me do it!"


[ Click here to read more... ]

Calendar

January 2005
M T W T F S S
« Dec   Feb »
 12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
31  

Recent Comments

    Chris Tesla commented in I had a dream: Excellent news Alan. apart from you’re ill health at the time, good to read that things are looking...

    Chris Tesla commented in I see stupid people: I see it almost everyday, drivers whom can’t bring themselves to use the indicator and those...

    Alan Howard commented in Can you feel it?: It’s not over yet. We’re only in the middle of the beginning of this crisis.

    Damian commented in Can you feel it?: Unfortunately it looks like the capitalist system might not collapse, much to my dismay. I’m still...

    Alan Howard commented in Caring for your introvert: Sounds like your husband is an introvert too? An ideal match, two introverts together. :)...