Being the ever-curious fellow that I am, along with the fact that I can never be happy with ‘how things are’, I like to push the boundaries a little, and modify things according to my preferences. Most people have a blog that’s based simply on the template that is provided for them. And then there’s a few who like to modify their blog to do what they want it to do.
Accordingly, I’ve been scouring sites for various hacks that I can use, on my old blog - as some of you probably know - and on this blog. As I find hacks and implement them, I’ll mention them so that you can try them too - if you want to.
I’m going through an interesting stage of my life where I’m re-evaluating all the things that are important to me. One of the traits that I’ve had for a long time is ‘people pleasing’. With everything I’ve been dealing with lately, I’ve realised that part of my problem has been pleasing others.
This has been to remain liked and respected, and to avoid conflict, etc. All measures of my own insecurities, really. But lately I’ve been finding more and more that many of those people who I once considered friends, have actually been friends only because I’ve been a particular way with them, and if that ‘way’ has deviated in some way, then their friendship has waned or disappeared altogether.
Things you might not know about the Military Commissions Act of 2006
Section 950j criminalises any challenge to the legislation’s legality by the Supreme Court or any US court:
“No court, justice, or judge shall have jurisdiction to hear or consider any claim or cause of action whatsoever, including any action pending on or filed after the date of the enactment of the Military Commissions Act of 2006, relating to the prosecution, trial, or judgment of a military commission under this chapter, including challenges to the lawfulness of procedures of military commissions under this chapter.”
I was verbally advised today that I will no longer have a role in the company due to restructuring. It’s something I was expecting, but to have it confirmed has been, like other things in my life, somewhat shocking.
However, confirmation is yet to be official, and the final result may even change as the restructuring process continues. I’ll find out within the next couple of weeks or so. (In the meantime, I’m ’strongly encouraged’ to apply for other roles that may arise, which I may or may not be successful at.)
“I believe that the public wants to be lead, to be instructed, to be told what to do. They want reassurance. They will always move on masse, a mob, a herd, a group, because people want the safety of human company. They are afraid to stand alone because the pressure is to be safely included within the herd, not to be the lone calf standing on the desolate, dangerous wolf-patrolled prairie of contrary opinion.” - Jesse Livermore, ‘world’s greatest stock trader’
I turn 40 on the 29th November. The 2nd of December, however, is when I’m having the birthday party.
I just finished doing the invitation and inviting people, all via a website that allows me to do online invitations and keep track of who is coming and who’s not. So far I have 4 people turning up, with 15 invited. Deidre, of course, as well as my friend Ken, and also my friend Mel.
Some of you may remember Mel from March 2004, when her and I went on an around-the-north-island road trip for 11 days. That was a whole lotta fun, a memorable holiday.
Jealousy is an emotion based on insecurity, relating to the belief that a relationship isn’t stable. This leads to fears of losing someone that’s precious to you, or that she’ll find someone better than you, and so on.
Degrees of jealousy
Cute
It’s perfectly normal to have reservations about your girlfriend going to a strip bar with friends, or not enjoying how much they drool over some guy in a magazine. That kind of jealousy is harmless and normal.
I know that one of the best techniques for healing emotional issues is to talk about how you feel and why and how you can move on. What I’ve found on the internet is a distinct lack of discussion groups for passive aggressive people. There’s discussion groups for just about anything else, but not for that.
So I created one:
So if you’ve stumbled onto this blog post while looking for information or discussion groups for passive aggressives, please feel free to join the group and join in on the healing.
As part of my growth and healing, I’ve found this guide to help me avoid passive aggression. From looking at it and understanding what I need to work on, you can probably understand where my ‘flaws’ are.
To avoid being passive aggressive with others I can:
try to be assertive, open, and honest with my negative feelings or anger.
warn people to “read” my behavior rather than my words if they want to know my feelings.
confront myself with my inconsistent behavior and challenge myself to explain it.
take the risk to confront my anger assertively and “on the spot” so that I can bring my behavior in line with my feelings.
work at making my behavior consistent with my feelings.
change the way I interact with people and make my relationships more honest.
admit that I have been a liar.
work at being more honest with people even if it results in a conflict.
identify the irrational thinking that prevents me from confronting people when I am angry.
learn how to become assertive with my negative feelings.
accept that it is OK to have conflict and disagreement.
learn to compromise and come to a “win-win” solution.
Probably the biggest shock to my system has been acknowledging how much I’ve been lying to myself and to others throughout my life. That’s been the hardest to deal with, and come to terms with.
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Ryan commented in Significant moments in life: The most significant moment in my life was sitting in a marketing class, and the lecturer saying to...
Ryan commented in Growing out of passive aggression: I think that you are a spot on with this assessment. I lived my life largely for other people....
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