Alanz Eyes

Are you single and desperate?

July 30th, 2007 - Posted by Alan Howard

If you’re single and desperate, here are some suggestions for you:

Come to terms with the possibility that you could be single for the rest of your life. Embrace that possibility. Engage in a love affair with yourself. This will give you the satisfaction of enjoying your own company.

These are good things to do.

I went through a ‘drought’ between 1994 - 1999. Five years of being unable to get past first or second date with any woman. If I got to third date, I thought she was ‘the one’, but I never got to the fourth date. After 5 years of disappointment, I gave up. Within myself I came to terms with the likelihood of being single forever, and never finding someone to share my life with. I ‘gave it all up’, so to speak, and just started being happy with who I am and my place in life.

Within a few months (or less) of thinking this way I met someone, and ended up in a relationship for 6 months. It wasn’t long, I know, but ever since then I’ve never been single for any more than a few months. Occasionally I wanted to be single, but I was never able to keep them away! In 2001, for example, I was single for 8 months before I realised that the last 3 months of that time I was actually in a relationship that I didn’t realise was happening… I tried so hard to be single that I denied the relationship I’d fallen into.

When you give up wanting something so much, you often find yourself obtaining it.

I attribute it to the law of attraction. When you’re single and ‘desperate’, all you can think about is how lonely and alone you are. And so you remain that way.

When you change your way of thinking to just enjoying and being happy with yourself, you’ll find that a ‘natural life of enjoyment’ is one that naturally includes a relationship.

Before you know it, someone comes along because you’re not focusing on how alone you are, and you end up in a relationship.

Give it a try. Choose to be happy with yourself. Start to enjoy your own company. Don’t even look for someone to go out with, just look to go out with yourself. You’ll be amazed at what will happen after only a few months.

Entry Filed under: Relationships