Alanz Eyes

I see stupid people

1 comment October 12th, 2008

We see them all around us, stupid people doing stupid things. I’ve decided to write a list of the stupid things that I’ve seen people do, and as I see more stupid people doing stupid things, I’ll update this list. If you have examples of some really stupid things that you’ve seen people do, please tell me about them in the comments. We’ll have my list, and we’ll have your list (the readers of this blog).

• I saw a man putting petrol in his car at a service station. While holding the pump with one hand, he had a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, and was talking to someone on his cellphone.

Numa Numa

Add comment February 9th, 2008

About three years ago, back in 2005, there was a video put onto the internet by a young guy who was miming to the Romanian song, 'Numa Numa'. I really don't understand how it became the most popular video on the internet, but it did. To Deidre and I, it was popular for us because the guy miming in the video looked like a friend of ours. Here's the video in all its glory: And you can check out a follow-up video here.

Borat

Add comment January 26th, 2008

Deidre's watching Borat on Foxtel. I started screaming again at the naked wrestling in the hotel room…. That's all I'll say about that.

Email Memories of 2005

1 comment November 24th, 2005

Thanks to all my friends who sent me such important emails in 2003 & 2004! It's so wonderful that you included me in your quest to inform!

Because of all of you I stopped drinking Coca-Cola after I found out from you that it's good for removing toilet stains.

I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with a disease.

I smell awful, but thank goodness I stopped using deodorant because you said it causes cancer.

How to make your asian girlfriend eternally happy

Add comment October 31st, 2005

I found this on a random internet page somewhere, and just had to post it. I don't completely agree with it, but I can see how some people would. But anyway, I thought it was funny.

1. Be RICH. This is important for you, but not for her. For her the number two rule follows.
2. Spend MONEY on HER. This is the most important thing for her, whether you are rich, have any money, or must lie, steal, or kill to do it.

That sound

3 comments October 30th, 2005

Deidre and I went out on a date on Friday night, going to dinner and then to see a movie (we saw "In Her Shoes", which I thought was quite good). During the movie I heard something.

Pppfffftt

That sound. You know the one. Of 'escaping wind'.

This is something I've gotten used to, as she lets her wind escape in places that she feels comfortable with, or where she thinks people won't hear her. But people often do hear her, and she says 'excuse me', which is great. It means we can go back again, where she does it again. But hey, as long as she says 'excuse me', they keep letting us back.

I think the cinema floor shook when she let her wind escape. I looked at her, and she smiled. I hoped no one else noticed, and grinned back.

Intimate connections…. hahahahahaha!

3 comments October 19th, 2005

Ok, I found this and I laughed my little arse off. I laughed and laughed…

Now that I've calmed down a bit from all the laughing I've been doing, let me explain it to you. It's a woman's vibrator that's like a 'bullet'. It's inserted into that place where these vibrator thingies are inserted, and… it has text message capabilities, so that you can receive text messages from your loved one, and when you receive it, the vibrator vibrates. So the woman can be walking around with this inside of her, just waiting for a text message….