Save The Planet
I just thought I’d put up a transcript of a live performance by George Carlin, a fantastic comedian who unfortunately died in 2008. He had some interesting views, and it was refreshing that on this one, he agrees with me.
You got people like this around you? Country is full of them now! People walking around all day long, every minute of the day — worried about EVERYTHING! Worried about the air, worried about the water, worried about the soil. Worried about insecticides, pesticides, food additives, carcinogens; worried about radon gas; worried about asbestos. Worried about saving endangered species.
Let me tell you about endangered species, all right? Saving endangered species is just one more arrogant attempt by humans to control Nature! It’s arrogant meddling! It’s what got us into trouble in the first place! Doesn’t anybody understand that? Interfering with Nature! Over 90 percent.. over… way over 90 percent of all the species that have ever lived — EVER LIVED — on this planet are gone. Whissshht! They are extinct!
I see stupid people
We see them all around us, stupid people doing stupid things. I’ve decided to write a list of the stupid things that I’ve seen people do, and as I see more stupid people doing stupid things, I’ll update this list. If you have examples of some really stupid things that you’ve seen people do, please tell me about them in the comments. We’ll have my list, and we’ll have your list (the readers of this blog).
- I saw a man putting petrol in his car at a service station. While holding the pump with one hand, he had a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, and was talking to someone on his cellphone.
- A man stopped in a roundabout in front of me while driving, so that he could give way to his left (you give way to the right in Australia, not the left). He drove a Volvo.
Numa Numa
About three years ago, back in 2005, there was a video put onto the internet by a young guy who was miming to the Romanian song, 'Numa Numa'. I really don't understand how it became the most popular video on the internet, but it did. To Deidre and I, it was popular for us because the guy miming in the video looked like a friend of ours. Here's the video in all its glory: And you can check out a follow-up video here.
Borat
Deidre's watching Borat on Foxtel. I started screaming again at the naked wrestling in the hotel room…. That's all I'll say about that.
Email Memories of 2005
Thanks to all my friends who sent me such important emails in 2003 & 2004! It's so wonderful that you included me in your quest to inform!
Because of all of you I stopped drinking Coca-Cola after I found out from you that it's good for removing toilet stains.
I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with a disease.
I smell awful, but thank goodness I stopped using deodorant because you said it causes cancer.
I don't leave my car in any parking lot even though I sometimes have to walk about seven blocks, because you said that someone might drug me with a perfume sample and then try to rob me.
I also stopped answering the phone because you said that they will ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a high phone bill with calls to Uganda, Singapore, Tokyo and maybe the Mars Rover.
